Dear Dr. Darling,

I suspect my colleague Dr. Harrington has already contacted you asking for an increase in her department's budget. I'm not surprised. Parapsychology has always been the squeaky wheel, all fuss but no results. Parakinesiology has always been the stronger department. More breakthroughs, more tangible data, more usable research.

I'm sure a man of your esteem can plainly see which department is more deserving of the budget increase. Just think what those additional resources could do for an already formidable research team.

Anyway, I know you're a fan of single malt so I left a bottle of well-aged brown on your desk.

Yours in Admiration,

Dr. Abraham Lewis